It all started when my new baby and I were leaving the hospital. I could smell 'jealousy' when Big Brother James threw a silent fit on our way out. He didn't like the fact that his newborn sister was on mommy's lap in the wheelchair instead of him. And when we took a couple pictures, his comments were "too much!".
That was more than a month ago. You might be asking how have we been dealing with this tricky toddler vs baby situation. I have to be honest, oftentimes we see James being jealous with his baby sister. But we've eliminated some of it by:
1. making sure he's getting heaps of love and attention from his mommy and daddy.
2. keeping the communication going between him and his sister. I do the talking for baby of course. James loves it. He always responds whenever I talk on behalf of baby. He would actually make the conversation more interesting by showing his little sister how to do things like brushing his teeth, how to operate his toys, etc. I guess it makes him feel like he knows more and that he could teach her a lot of things.
3. giving him his turn to "lambing" (tagalog for kisses&cuddles) with mommy. He knows it's his turn when baby's sleeping or when daddy has the baby.
4. being as calm as you can when he's mad or misbehaving. James usually does this when I spend too much time feeding or holding the baby. He just wants my attention so I try not to get mad at him. Instead I give him something to do like try to find an activity book in his room that we can work on after i'm done with the baby.
5. keeping his old everyday routine with mommy and daddy like brushing his teeth at 7 and reading books at bedtime. He looks forward to those things everyday.
6. bringing him out for a date. His daddy brings him to the movies or baseball game once in a while. James calls it "guys day out". And sometimes I bring him out shopping at ToyRUs after picking him up from school. He calls it a "date with mommy".
7. including him whenever we talk about the baby. I even include his name in my songs when i'm putting baby to sleep. It makes him feel just as special.
8. giving him the big brother responsibilities like helping mommy take care of baby. I usually ask him to throw away baby's dirty diaper and put baby's pacifier on when she's crying. He's pretty good at it.
9. educating him about being a big brother and how to be gentle with his sister. And that hurting her is not acceptable.
Having said all these, we still see jealousy in him once in a while. He throws comments like "mommy, why don't you just give her to those who don't have babies?", "enough kissing", "how come you don't sleep with me anymore?" These words break my heart, but I have to accept the fact that it's a natural reaction from an innocent child." I'm still proud of him for being such a good brother since his sister came. We just have to keep doing what we've been doing with him and hopefully he'll fully understand how lucky he is to have a little sister.
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